Finding the Soft Spot in a Stone Wall

I wrote Soft Spot in a Stone Wall at a time when I was desperate. It was a chronic desperation. I felt trapped and I was the victim of my circumstance. I tried everything but couldn’t find a solution to my health problems. I kept coming back to such a low point, that I felt like I was scraping the bottom of the barrel. I couldn’t help myself and nobody else could help me either. When there isn’t a clear cut answer people have trouble understanding or knowing how to help. I lost friends, and was judged for my weakness. I did all the right things, but still I was trapped! Have you ever felt that way?

The problems we face may not be new, but we each have our own set, and when we cannot overcome it, life gets hard. It’s isolating and it’s lonely. And unless we find a way out, we become trapped in a vicious cycle of need and despair. This combination is a breeding ground for anger and fear, and I had my share of both.

My chronic health issues led me to cry out to God. And just like it says in Psalm 22:24, “when I cried out, He listened and did not turn away”… my cry was heard. Although I didn’t instantly feel different, I started to notice quiet nudges and whispers on my heart. I knew it was God. Sometimes I would feel comfort and sometimes I would just get a word or phrase to ponder. By paying attention to the quiet leading of the Spirit, I saw a new equation enter my life, and new experiences began to interrupt the vicious cycle I was in. I would periodically get glimpses of blue sky and freedom in the midst of my struggle. 

I continued to follow the Lord’s lead through my rocky path, and I found strength. I discovered delight during despair, the gift of joy during sorrow and the realization of victory instead of victimhood. Even though it still looked like I was weak on the outside, I had hope and a thunderous roar would rise up from the depth of my being. It wasn’t me. It came from my involvement with the Lion of Judah, and the stirrings of the Great I Am that caused me to rise up. It became my new way of life, and even though I didn’t stay up on top all the time, He would cause me to keep rising up over and over, until I was up more than I was down, Every time I realized I was feeling despair and out of patience for my struggle, I would choose to take His hand once again and look to Him instead of my struggle. Automatically I would be lifted, like a Daddy lifts His child into His arms.


Soft Spot in a Stone Wall is my story about finding victory through trial and experiencing breakthrough when there’s no way out. If you are experiencing a struggle of your own, I invite you to take a little trip through all God taught me during my years of crisis, and see what He might do for you. You can find it on Amazon in print or preorder the ebook version on Kindle here…

Blessings, Tami