5-Things To Keep From Becoming The Crazy Ex
We’ve all heard stories of how people who were once loving and sweet, transformed into the crazy ex after being dumped. This subject has provided great material for books, movies, and comedies, like the recent series I’ve been watching called My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. This new version is a musical and a comedy all rolled into one. I have to admit I enjoy it, and even find myself laughing out loud. As I was thinking about the ridiculous things the main character does to get noticed, and the elaborate schemes she spends her time on, often manipulating those around her to get what she thinks she wants… I had an epiphany!
We have all been the ex-something, at some point.
I am an ex-friend to several people, who I believed would always be there for me. I am an ex-business owner, of a business I loved. I am an ex-participant of a mission outreach, that my heart beat for. I am an ex-soccer mom, homeschool mom and mother of teenage sons. I am an ex-granddaughter, since my grandparents are now resting in the arms of Jesus. I miss many of these things, and the process of becoming the “ex” was fought with tears, grief, and anger. The void each of these created, along with the emotional loss, is enough to create a perfect whirlwind of emotion to feel a bit crazy... but we don’t need to act that way!
1. FACE THE FACTS
Honesty Check vs. Delusional Deception - When life sends you lemons, or throws you a curve ball, let it serve as a bright, flashing, warning signal to slam on your breaks, accept reality and adjust. Lying to yourself, and creating a fantasy world of your own making is a counterfeit to true happiness. Here’s an example of how lying to yourself makes you delusional - Gaston proposes to Belle.
2. SHOW SOME RESPECT
Responding with Respect vs. Cut Down Reactions - Respect yourself during times of rejection and grief by not talking down to yourself. Use the power of your words for health and encouragement, both for you and those around you. Peppermint Patty reminds us not to lash out with cut downs, in this short clip from There’s No Time For Love, Charlie Brown.
3. DEMONSTRATE THE GRACE OF SELF-CONTROL
Extending Grace vs. Reacting in Anger - The way we respond to others speaks more about us than it does about them. If you have a short fuse, or trying to control the outcome of everything and everyone, you’ll find negative emotions to be your constant companion. A humorous example of practicing the grace of self-control is in this Donald Duck video clip from 1938.
4. JUST LET IT GO
The Honor of Letting Go vs. Holding On With a White Knuckle Grip. - You can’t demand honor, it’s something you give. There is strength & power in honor. For your own sake, release whatever you’re holding onto, and let the power of these lyrics in Let It Go, from the movie, Frozen, inspire you.
5. MOVE ALONG
Moving On vs. Stuck in a Holding Pattern. Position yourself for more, by letting go of the negative that’s holding you captive. It will give you the ability you need to put one foot in front of the other, and move on with your life. Pinocchio gives a good visual of cutting the stings holding you back in his song, I Got No Strings.
This is a great start! God has more grace to give & has the ability to heal your heart.
If you still have things keeping you from moving on, consider sending us a message. We provide coaching to those in crisis.